justin, again.

today at recess, justin, my perfect dream guy, hung out with me. we were having a lot of fun. brianna wasnt there cuz she got checked out. so it was just me and justin. we were just messin around and it was so fun. he started stepping on my toes and everything. it made me laugh. so when we went back to class, i couldnt wait till lunch recess! it was going to be so much fun if i was going to hang out with him! i watch the clock go by, tick...toc...tic...toc... it seemed to trudge by! till finally it was lunch time! then we line wash up, get in line, and head down to lunch. as soon as i finish eating, i run outside with my friends, and wait for justin to come over to talk to me again like first recess. after 10 minutes, he never did. so i kept waiting anxiously. finall about twenty minutes later, he came over, but didnt want to talk really. just wanted to hide. so i have a small sigh, curled up in my ball, and waited for him to just go away so i didnt have to go through the pain anymore. as soon as he left, i was all good again. until i thought about what had happenedd that morning. i couldnt tell anyone. cuz i dont want anyone getting the wrong idea. so i kept it to myself and i'm sure everyone was thinking it was about guys or something. and it wasnt. so now i am scared about something else. i wasnt supposed to fall in love with him, but i did. so now i am not afraid of anything but losing him. if i lose him,i dont know what i will do with myself. is it so wrong for me to be in love with someone as young as ai am? well i am sure everyone thinks so. but they dont understand. i have been hurt so many times. and i realize that there is no guy that wont ever hurt you, so i need to go for the one that will make the pain worth while. and he is the one that will make the pain worth while. actually i dont know if he will hurt me anytime soon. i hope not. i luv him to much. but i cant tell himthat, so how am i supposed to get the one i luv, of first they dont luv me back, and second i cant tell them that i luv him cuz of i do i might lose him period. as a friend and as any chance as my boy friend. i dont know what to do anymore. i luv him so much. more htan anything. hard to believe at first i hated him to death. now he is the one i luv more than anything. well loving someone is wanting the best for them. whether it includes you or not. and now i come to the question. am i good enough for him? or will i just waste his time? if i try to get the one i luv, will i ruin the only chance i have with him? will i ruin the friend shio between me and brianna? will ha make a laughing stock of me? would he be embarrassed to have someone like me love him? what do i do? what is the best for me and him? i have so many questions! these aren't even half of them! *crying* i luv him...... i cant help that...... i need him. i also need help. plz help.....someone...anyone?