Friday, February 20, 2009
justin vs. boy friend
so i know i have been talking about justin a lot, and i really do like him. but u have a boy friend and i luv him too. but i'm scared i luv justin more than my boi friend. how sad is that? especially since i can never be with justin no matter how badly i want to. and karina still if u say anything i swear! so anyways, now it justin vs. my boi friend. i dont know which one 2 choose. i luv em both, but i think i luv justin more. he even admitted sometimes he wishes he was going out wit me. so why not make his wishes come true? and thats where i get to the horrible road block. Brianna. now dont get me wrong! i LUV brianna! but sometimes i wish she had never fell in lv with him, cuz then i would be able to luv justin back! and i would actually be happy for once in my life! he wasnt supposed to mean that much to me. i want supposed to fall in luv with him. but i did. i fell for someone that cant catch me. he tripped me, and i fell without anyone to help me up. how do all the perfect guys find me, but go out with my best friends first, and then realize they luv me when it is too late for me to say i luv them back? so now i need some help here. Who do i choose. justin, my dream guy. or my boi friend, the guy who luvs me a little too much?
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I'm so sorry, Grace!! I never knew you had such feelings for a person....btw, check all of your posts, becuz i may have added a comment to each one!!
ReplyDeleteHave you actually started dating Draven, and does Brianna know about this blog? becuz she might stumble upon it, FYI
now that I come to realize how you are feeling...I remember how it feels to be in love...so excited to be around that person..just waiting to be loved and adored....I don't like guys now, but I did...someday, I will tell you about the story of my friend Nathan, who had a crush on me....and what he did was so.......UGH...that my mom banned me from the computer for a period of time...remember I told you that I used to be grounded? That's only half of the story...once ...if I think I can relaly trust you enough...and know that you can sitll look at me in the same way...maybe...maybe I will tell you the rest....it happened on a chat website...and whenever I think about it...I just want to die...but I know that if I told someone like Katie, she would treat me different...I don't know if you would treat me the same or not...what happened to me over the summer on the internet was near to....(sigh) sexual harassment. I don't want you to be afria do fme in anyway...because I was being harassed..I wasn't the harrasser....I wish someone would listen...and treat me with sympathy..I just hope that doing this is the right thing...can I REALLY REALLY truly trust you? The reason I hate my cousin Nicole is becuz she's more shy around me...and it makes me mad...she treats me diffferent...is quiet around me whenever I'm near a computer.....please...Grace...I just...Idk..I could cry.....all over again...sometimes, I wish I were dead..I do...I once called the stupid hopeline hoping that someone would understand...they prayed for me too..and now....I hope you are the one friend that I can TOTALLY trust..becuz I can't trust Sierra..Juliann..or any of them like this...
ReplyDeleteOF COURSE YOU CAN TRUST ME KARINA!!! i would never treat u different for ur past! ur past might have some background, but u decided who to become! which is an amazing person! u can completely trust me! and can it really be that bad? wow! i can help u through this! u just gotta tell me so i can make it all go away k! the embarrasemnt and wisj=hing u werent alive part i mean! well read these k! see ya!
ReplyDeleteWEll, I'm glad I can trust you!! I know that if I told someone like Emily or Katie, they would probably never speak to me again...Katie has just always been like that ever since she found Twilight...haning out with a girl named Zoe...and treating me different...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, i'll start with the beginning..the one with the guy named Nathan. We used to e-mail each other (he's one year older than me) and we've known each other since pre-school..well, last summer, all of a sudden, he told me that he LOVED me on an e-mail...I mean, it made me feel good...but it didn't...really sink in, becuz I thought he was kidding....he used to be my best guy friend until now!! So then he started sending me love letters and stuff instead of being his old normal self..I told my mom and just so you know, Nathan's mom and My mom are like best friends...( see where this is going?) In the end, I realized taht Nathan was really get serious with me...and ever since I told him aht I didn't erally like him more than a friend, he's been asking me what he could do so that I could somehow love him more....that was like four months ago...I'm not very close to him anymore...but I guess we're still friends....When you comment again, I'll tell you about the whole chat room slingo/story...^_^ thx for beong there for me!! u really are the only friend i could ever tell this to^_^
of course! u can tell me anything i promise! i would never tell or treat u different for anything! i swear!!!!!!
ReplyDeletehaha you're nice, Grace! Well, that's the first part of the story...I'm not sure if you're ready for the next part yet...O_O
ReplyDeleteyes i am! i wanna know! plz plz plz plz pppplllllzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletehmmm okay, if you're sure that you can listen to an extra long story...
ReplyDeleteI was looking up Naruto personality quizzes online one day, and I hapened to stumble uppon a site on Google called Quibblo. But for some reason, you could message people that you didn't know, and people started messaging me. I excepted their friend requests. I was so lonely at the time. I felt hopeless, I guess. So I talked to them. I mean, nobody but my little brother knew..and he was too much of a good friend to tell on me. So I talked to them.......A guy named Mark (his username was nejiforlif) tole me to join CrunchyRoll (CR) becuz he liked me as a good friend, and Crunchyroll was a lot cooler. Well, Mark was like my best friend..and he knew like everyting about me (not where I lived of course) and so I went to CR and made like 225 friends or something...I was excepted quick. I was kicked off though becuz my mom said that it was bad...and I,....well...The most part I definitely got kicked off was because that there was this one user who said he was sixteen, and I had put on my profile that I was thirteen...and he kept stalking me and asking me stuff like, "So do you have any sexy pictures of yourself?" and crap like taht....I was nieve...and for some reason, I had never been told my a guy that I was sexy, and for some reason, I wanted to see if he was a good guy.....eventually, everytime he he left, he kept telling me that he wuld kiss me on the lips good bye and crap like that.....eventually, it got to a point where he actually said that he stripped me and was having sex with me. THEN I started asking other people what they thought of him. Do you know what's sad? He has a REAL LIFE girl friend on CR that he has actulaly dated...and he was cheating on me?!?! he kept saying that someday we would be together and crap!! But I did make one good friend and I can't exactly remember his name...but he was truly a big brother to me...he told me to stay away from perverts like him...(which I did to late) and he always gave me a teddy bear (or so he said)........from that point on, I HATED CHAT WEBSITES...they only bring back depression, angry, scars, tears, and blood......intimacy...not good memories...I hated 2008
I'm sorry, Grace...but that's how it went...my parents kinda lost their trust me ever since...and that's why I was grounded..eventually, I went back, and I got grounded for three montsh again..I told you I was on the computer too much..technically, it was true. On the compuyter too much for talking to strangers!!
I ..I hate myself >Xo
dont!you were nieve! but ur not now! and what is there to be sorry for! i'm sorry made u tell me! that must have been hard! but i wont treat u different i promise!!!! that was a while ago k! just forget it k? itz all good!
ReplyDelete